Well I guess the cats already out of the bag but I should probably tell you whats been going on in more detail.
We had everything planned out, it was all coming together and everyone was ready to go.
Well I was ready to go to Peru, I wasn’t ready to let my family go.
I’m usually not like this, I mean I’ve been going away to camp for two months for the past two summers, I’m okay to take care of myself, but there was something about this that was different.
I was heartbroken every time I thought about my family leaving and as it got closer and closer to their fly date, the more I didn’t want it to happen.
I’m not one to wear my heart on my sleeve so I just ignored the feelings & acted like everything was okay.
A couple days ago my parents and I had a conversation about Peru and how we didn’t really consider that I could go with them. I thought this was weird because I had been thinking about wanting to go with them, evidently they had been thinking about me coming as well.
I guess the thought didn’t leave their minds, nor did it leave mine.
This morning I was all ready for school & sitting in our make shift dining room (patio furniture) my dad came to join me and told me how him and my mom had thought about a way I could come with them. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach and tried to think of every excuse not to do it, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I should go. I decided to book guidance appointment and if it could happen then it was meant to happen.
Because of our conversation I missed the bus and i drove myself to school (woot-woot!). On the way there I was listening to Moriah Peter’s new album “Brave”. Almost every song in that album is about giving up our desires, trusting God and following Him.
Even though it looked like I had been trusting God throughout this whole process, I really wasn’t, I was telling Him I would go but on my time and my terms. I was being selfish when I was supposed to be sacrificial.
Thats not how it works.
Its when Christ calmed my heart and told me, “If you are really my disciple you will follow me wherever I lead you, whenever I tell you. This is me telling you. GO.”
So I am.
On October 16th I will be joining my parents and my brothers in Peru.
I am finally trusting God with everything I’ve got and following Him wherever he leads me.
AND I COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED.