for the days when I miss home

today was a rough day.

i get those a lot since moving here.
they’re the days when I can barely think about my friends & family back home without turning into a bucket of tears.
they’re the days when I want so desperately to jump on a flight to canada as soon as possible.
they’re the days when I feel completely crushed & heart broken & lost & confused & out of place.
today was a rough day.
so what did I do about it? what I usually do when I feel lost & alone & scared – run to God.
I’ve learnt that though I may be able to keep my emotions from those around me, it’s impossible to keep them from God, so why try to fight the inevitable ? Might as well just pour it all out to him so that he can teach me whatever it is he needs to teach me.
Well today pouring it out to him involved sitting down with my guitar & singing (for the record I began playing & singing Taylor Swift & then moved onto worship songs…)
After my Taylor Swift jam session I played Solution by Hillsong , it’s been my go to song since moving here , when I lose sight of it all that seems to be the song that brings me back & focuses me.
It shows me that God is the solution – everything I do here is meaningless unless I have Christ at the center of everything I do – reminds me of 1 Corinthians 13:1, without God , who is love I am only a clanging symbol or a resounding gong , useless & without a purpose. Afterward I played Christ Is Enough ( don’t know who this one is by sorry..) & one line hit me really hard.
‘Heaven is our home’
I spent the good part of today being upset cause I miss ‘home.’ Well where is my home ? It isn’t Canada, it isn’t Circle Square Ranch Brantford, it isn’t Cuba, it isn’t Haiti , it isn’t even Peru, it’s h e a v e n ! As much as I love those other places, heaven is where I belong & that is where my true home lies. I need to have a heaven bound mindset because that is where I’m spending my eternity & everything I do in this short life effects that eternity.
Today I am thankful for an eternity with my one true love, so many places too be & miss & that we’re not home yet.
happy thursday ! xo
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