When my dad started ministry in Cuba, I was terrified that we were gonna end up moving there. I asked God why us? Why did he have to get us involved in this? Why did he send us out?
When I went through my first years of high school feeling alone & deserted I asked God why he would take my friends away and why he wouldn’t bring me new friends.
When I came home from Haiti (one year ago next week), I asked God where he wanted me and why he gave me such a big heart for overseas missions if I wasn’t going to be able to pursue that right away?
When a beautiful woman of God and a good friend of ours was diagnosed with terminal cancer, we asked why her? Why put her family through that? Why put her through that? It just isn’t fair.
When he gave me the opportunity of Peru, I asked why there? Why would he send me to a place I had never been before when he had already shown me so many other places that I have fallen in love with? Why couldn’t he send us to Haiti?
When we first got to Peru, I doubted and asked God why he chose us. Why did we have to leave everything we knew & everyone we loved?
When we first got to Peru, I wanted to hit the ground running, I wanted to start our ministry and I asked God why we couldn’t start his work right now!
It seems I asked, and still ask “Why?” a lot. Sometimes I don’t understand God. Most of the time I don’t see what he’s doing until days, weeks, months, years later when I can look back and see the good he had done. I’ve discovered, since living in Peru, what my ‘job description’ as a Christian really is.
My job as a Christian isn’t to understand God & know what he’s doing, my job is to trust him & do what he says no matter the cost.
My job is to trust him because ultimately he knows what’s best for me and he is in control. Nothing I do or say or think or feel will ever change that, no matter how much I try to have control over the situation, it’s not gonna work until I give the situation over to the One who knows me better than myself.
So, I’m gonna try to stop asking “Why?” so much and just trust him. He is the all knowing, he is the all powerful and the all loving, he is merciful and kind and just and when we don’t understand what’s going on, that’s alright. He just wants us to cling to him.
Our refuge. Our salvation. Our Father. Our God.