It’s finally 2016. I guess I shouldn’t say “finally” because 2015 went by at the speed of light, it almost feels like it didn’t happen, like it was all just wonderful dream. Nonetheless, it’s still a new year and on January first I found myself trying to figure out what I wanted this year to be about.

Last year, I unintentionally found myself focusing on authenticity. I desperately wanted to be real and stop hiding behind the mask I loved to wear. Last year was really good for me, being real with people deepened my friendships, it suffocated my fear of what people think, it helped me relate with people more and I really believe that it helped me grow up.

This year I wanted to be more purposeful. I wanted to pick a word that I could focus on this year and I wanted it to change me.

I picked the word, “grace.”

Grace has always been really hard for me to understand. I’ve never felt good enough for the type of grace Jesus offers.

“What do you mean it’s free?”, “You mean I’m completely forgiven?”, “Are you sure we’re good?” are questions I have asked Jesus over and over again. Maybe it’s because I’m insecure or maybe it’s because grace is really something incredible. I think it’s the second option. I think Jesus intended grace to be this unfathomable thing that we can’t comprehend. I think he wanted it that way so we could fully understand how much it’s worth.

So I picked the word, “grace.” This year I want to attempt to understand this amazing thing that Jesus gives me daily and I want to be able to show it to others.

It has already been challenging and I already feel like I’m failing. I felt like I had failed on January first, but I’m learning the best part about grace; as long as we yearn to know Jesus, it’s always there waiting for us to accept it.

So it’s 2016 and this is my year of grace upon grace (upon grace upon grace upon grace…)