It’s happening again.
My heart is starting to race, my palms are beginning to sweat, I feel the fear and dread welling up inside of me until it feels like it’s going to consume me.
I hear someone say, “You screwed up.”
In my heart I know I did. I know I messed up big time.
I hear the man start to tell me lies. Somehow I realize that what he’s telling me is deceitful but I’m to weak to fight and I begin to believe him.
You’re too far gone.
He can’t forgive you now.
What you did was too bad.
It’s too late.
I start to cry as I believe these lies. Is he right? Is it over? It can’t be, can it?
And just when I think I’m about crumble, just when it becomes too much to bear, I feel Jesus with me.
I feel Him hug me.
I feel how much He loves me.
I hear Him call me, “daughter.”
I hear Him tell me it’s okay, that He’s already forgiven me and not only that but He’s already forgotten about it.
I hear Him say that He won’t shame me, that I am made new and the girl I was in my past is dead and gone.
I hear Him say all this and I feel loved. I feel accepted. I feel free. And I walk away with Jesus knowing that I am.