My Life Has Been Ruined

I want to write about something that’s ruining my life right now. I was anticipating this, I was excited for it actually but I didn’t understand how it would truly affect my life until I really got into it and now, I don’t think I can go back. My life and outlook has been completely changed and I’ve been destroyed.

Jesus has been doing this thing lately where he uses things in which I would not expect to find Him to teach me things about Him that change my life and give me passion. This is another one of those moments.

If any of you are avid Netflix users like me, you’ll have seen the new show called “13 Reasons Why.” Well friends, this is the thing that’s destroying me.

I heard that this show was coming out a while ago and I was anticipating its release. The idea of suicide is something that has always been heavy on my heart and something that I want to keep learning about in an attempt to understand it and this show seemed like another resources I could use to learn and help my understanding. So I started watching.

Guys, this show is heavy. There were many times where I would watch one episode and then have to turn it off because of how deeply I was affected by it. There were many times when all I could do was cry and wonder how many people are silently suffering.

That’s what ruining my life.

I’m watching this show and realizing how passive I am. How many times do I say, “I’ll pray for you,” and then walk away and never actually pray when I know something is wrong? How many times do I ask, “how are you?” and simply accept “Good” or “I’m fine” as an answer? There’s nothing wrong with saying any of these things cause in some cases they may be the truth. The danger lies in becoming passive, in being ignorant, and in not caring enough to invest in people’s lives.

I’m watching this show and I realize how careless I am with my words. What are the things I say that hurt someone else? Do I make jokes that makes someone’s life worse? Why do I throw words around like they’re nothing?

I’m watching this show and I’m realizing this reality that we don’t know everyone’s story. We don’t know how deeply other people are hurting or what we could be doing to cause that hurt and because of that truth, we need to be careful.

I’ve always hated the word ignorant. It’s never, ever been something that I want to be. I’d rather know the hurtful things in this world than be completely blind to them and I think that idea has a lot to do with this issue we’re facing.

Our prof in Ethics today said this, “we treasure pleasure and refrain from pain.” That’s the truth isn’t it? We’re afraid of pain. We’re afraid to hurt and be vulnerable. It’s a weakness. We can’t deal with our own pain let alone anyone else’s so it’s so much easier to ignore the pain of others because if we don’t know or if we can forget about it, it doesn’t become our responsibility.

There is something so sick and wrong with this way of thinking but we all have it. Why should we stand by when our friends and family could be hurting so deeply? Why let people die when one word of encouragement or love could have saved them? Why act like their pain doesn’t exist when recognizing it could save their life?

We need to help each other out.

We live in a fallen and broken world, bad things happen every day and if any of us are going to get through it all, we need to bear one another’s burdens.

So I’m proposing something new. Well, it’s not really new, just an option that we don’t usually think of.

Let’s be real with each other.

Let’s take care of each other.

Let’s ask someone how they really are.

Let’s ask someone how we can pray for them and then actually pray.

Let’s talk and talk and talk.

Let’s recognize when someone is hurting and then do something about it.

Let’s not just sit idly and live our own lives. We’re all here together and we need each other if any of us are going to get through this life.

Let’s be real and vulnerable and raw. Maybe we could change a life.

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6 thoughts on “My Life Has Been Ruined

  1. I’ve been following your blog for a few months and have been so encouraged by what you write. I share your heart for kids who need homes and need Jesus, and I love that you have had experiences that have shaped you into someone God can use to reach them. This post was different, though. This post woke me up to what I can do, where I am. And I needed that. Thank you!

    “We can’t deal with our own pain let alone anyone else’s so it’s so much easier to ignore the pain of others because if we don’t know or if we can forget about it, it doesn’t become our responsibility.”

    A few years ago, someone close to me– who I’d idolized– nearly committed suicide. I helped a little, but maybe not enough, because I was terrified. Even before that, the aching desire to help other people through depression has burned in my heart. It’s buried deep, under the fear that these problems might overwhelm me too. It’s happened before. But that’s always what it’s like to fight the darkness, isn’t it? So it is necessary to encourage one another and remember it is only Jesus who can bring the light and change into a situation. We can– and should– just be lamp-bearers.

    I might watch “13 Reasons Why”, and I will remember your post, and encouragement that yes– we can do better. We can do something to help people through the worst times. And the true light is stronger than the darkness.

    1. Wow, thank you so much! I’m sorry you had to go through that but you’re right, Jesus is the one that brings light to the darkest of situations. Thanks so much for reading this, your comment is so encouraging! ❤

  2. Reblogged this on ~ No Lasting City ~ and commented:
    I’ve been following Tatiana’s blog for a few months and have been so encouraged by what she writes. I share her heart for kids who need homes and need Jesus, and I love that she can share experiences that have shaped her into someone God can use to reach them.

    This post was different, though. This post woke me up to what I can do, where I am. And I needed that. Thank you!

    “We can’t deal with our own pain let alone anyone else’s so it’s so much easier to ignore the pain of others because if we don’t know or if we can forget about it, it doesn’t become our responsibility.”

    A few years ago, someone close to me– who I’d idolized– nearly committed suicide. I helped a little, but maybe not enough, because I was terrified. Even before that, the aching desire to help other people through depression has burned in my heart. It’s buried deep, under the fear that these problems might overwhelm me too. It’s happened before. But that’s always what it’s like to fight the darkness, isn’t it? So it is necessary to encourage one another and remember it is only Jesus who can bring the light and change into a situation. We can– and should– just be lamp-bearers.

    I might watch “13 Reasons Why”, and I will remember your post, and encouragement that yes– we can do better. We can do something to help people through the worst times. And the true light is stronger than the darkness.

  3. Hi Tat! Beautifully worded and beautiful message. I am a words person! It moved me to tears. Late last fall, I felt God wanted me to start encouraging others more. He wanted me to let them know they matter. He wanted me to listen to them and not talk unless asked a question or there was a silence. He wanted me to share my story/life to open up others stories so they would share their life for God’s healing balm to come into those places. This so confirms what God spoke to me about and I have been to the best of my ability walking that out. After reading this, I will do more. I will be more intentional. I will be more alert.

    Tat, I am sharing at our community group that is held in my home on encourgement. Would it be okay to share parts of this article? I will let them know it was written by you. No problem if you are not comfortable with that.

    Thank you again. I hope to get to know better, so we can share our stories and encourage each other.

    1. Hi Betty, thank you so much! I think it’s so great what you’ve been learning. We definitely need to invest and pour into people as much as we can. Feel free to share if you want!

  4. I don’t know if I could watch that show, there’s enough sadness for me in the world already.
    I agree with you, we need to try to be real with each other and dig for an honest answer when God prompts us to.
    Ultimately there will be a lot of things we miss with a lot of people. Not that I’m condoning it or excusing ourselves. What we really need to do is go to prayer for those we know need help, for God to point us to those we don’t know about, and for God to comfort those people. We also need to ask for His peace with things happen that are out of our control and to encourage us that all we can do is turn everything over to Him.
    Stay faithful, pray consistently and constantly.
    A tall order but all we can do is our best with God’s help.
    Thanks for the inspiration and conviction. Really!

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