When You’ve Been Gone for a Year

I moved back to Canada a year ago today.

I knew I wanted to write about this year and what I’ve learned, all the wisdom I’ve gained as a young, trying to be a-typical millennial who’s living on her own for the first time. I’m being totally sarcastic of course because yes I wanted to write, yes I’m young and I’m trying to be different and I’m living on my own but I don’t feel like I’ve gained that much wisdom.

This has been an incredibly humbling year.

It’s been a year of recognizing who I really am and realizing how I’m never in control.

Last May when I left Peru I was struggling with losing the identity I had built my life around, I felt like moving back home would suddenly make me insignificant and I wouldn’t have a “cool” factor about me anymore. I had to realize that my significance comes from being loved by Jesus, not by anything I’ve done.

When I came back to Canada, I struggled with entering back into North American life. I would break down crying when I heard english worship music at church, I was always shocked that I could drink tap water, flush a toilet and walk into a grocery store and find everything I needed (I still sometimes just walk around Walmart and take in all the sights).

When I started Bible college, my spiritual life was at an all time low. I was so burnt out from the orphanage and camp that I didn’t want to try anymore and I really had to work to be intimate with Jesus again – Bible college was not what I expected it to be.

This year has been messy, full of grace and learning, and unexpectedly amazing. I’ve learned so many things and I’ve discovered so many passions that I had repressed before. My life plan has changed countless times and I’ve learned to trust Jesus in a way that I never had before.

If there’s one piece of wisdom from this year that I can share with you, it’s this: our life is never going to turn out the way we think it will. Our plans will constantly change, it’s when we can fully know and trust Jesus that we can be confident in the fact that even if our plans change, Jesus never will. This year has been one heck of an adventure – here’s to many more.

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